Resources
Giving Negative Feedback
The exact approach depends on the issue, but some general principles are:
- Check your facts beforehand - Speak to the person who was upset, get hard facts and figures for performance issues.
- Give feedback as soon as is reasonably possible - Don’t wait for the next 1:1.
- Give feedback face to face - Avoid dropping a brief Teams message or email highlighting the mistake. If in the office, choose a private setting.
- Start by checking your assumptions - “I’ve become aware that XYZ. Is that right? I want to hear your side of it. Please could you tell me a bit more about this?”
- Avoid “why” questions - They put the person on the defensive (“Why the hell did you do that?!”). Better to ask “What” questions:
- “What made you choose that course of action?”
- “What were you hoping to accomplish?”
- “What’s important to you here?”
- Avoid attacking their character - Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory: “When you behave like this, I feel the consequence for the team is…”
- Frame the discussion as helping them grow - Also emphasise nipping this in the bud so it doesn’t become a bigger problem. Make it as safe as possible so they don’t feel threatened (assuming this is the first time you’ve discussed the issue). Remember, people generally don’t want to do a poor job or cause upset.
- Agree a plan to improve - Try to set specific goals and milestones (e.g., go two weeks without making hurtful/negative comments in a team meeting).
- Set a date to review - Discuss ongoing milestones and support they may need.
- Send an email summary - Document the discussion, next steps, and timescales. This forms an evidence/audit trail if the problem persists and HR need to get involved.
Books
- The Effective Manager by Mark Horstman - A bit old school but has good advice about 1:1s and giving feedback. Skim read to find the useful/relevant bits.